Friday, December 17, 2010

I'm sitting here in the ever-fading light, listening to "Little Saint Nick" and every other Christmas song that jingles its way through Sunny 99.1's holiday tunes. Leo is curled up into my side with his head tucked under my arm purring softly, giving me discontented looks every time I move my arm too much. And in this moment of extreme solitude, for whatever bizarre reason, I'm just a little bit sad.

It's funny, every morning on the way to and from work, I've been waiting for "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" to come on the radio so I can sing cheerily along. And right at the very moment that I'm feeling the teensiest bit melancholy, the radio breaks into this specific song. 

God works in mysterious ways, huh?

We had an unexpected day off work today. I should clarify - we had an unexpected day out of the office today. Our power was shut off in our building, so we are supposed to be working from home today. I've dabbled in and out of work-related items, with pauses to do the massive piles of laundry that have accumulated in our house, and a lot of baking. I found out today that I make excellent ginger crisp cookies, chili pecans that have no ounce of spice to them, and pumpkin spice cookies that taste more like pumpkin bread. ::sigh:: Baking is one of those house-wifey things I'm still working on perfecting.

I know so many people that aspire to be certain professions in life. And as unimpressive as it may sound, my one big aspiration has been to be a housewife, that stays home and takes care of the kids. Cooks dinner every night and forces everyone to sit at the table together for 45 short minutes to share a meal. Cleans the house, does the grocery shopping, and still manages to be a fabulous mom and wife. Is that weird? I work at a law firm where I get paid fairly well for being two years out of college (two years? already? that is sad in itself). My boss is constantly pushing me to go to law school. I love my coworkers. And yet, there are days that I'm still unsatisfied. I had big dreams at one point, dreams that I now don't think I'll ever accomplish. 
I read somewhere that if you really want something, you go for it. If you don't really want it, you just continually make excuses. I'm scared that I'm just making excuses all of the time. 

This post is depressing ME. 

Sorry guys, no cheery post today. HAPPY FRIDAY. 

I hope everyone has a blessed weekend.



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